What a way to start a new year!!! One of the most anticipated movies of the year, just turned out to be the blandest possible tale of a warrior! Chandni Chowk 2 China afterall is dumb, stupid and boring…

Siddhu (Akshay Kumar), a cook in a small hotel in Chandni Chowk, Delhi dreams of making it big and earn loads of money. And after countless futile attempts to turn his fortunes, he ends up following the advice of Chopstick (Ranvir) a Chinese fortune teller who cons him to earn money. Elsewhere, in China, a village reels under the wrath of Hojo who leaves no stone unturned to prove that he’s the boss! In a desperate attempt to save themselves from Hojo, the villagers find out that their erstwhile saviour has reincarnated and now lives in India…the rest of the movie is how these villagers find Siddhu and what happens when Siddhu goes to China.

Just a few months ago, we saw a brilliant animated flick, “Kungfu Panda”. So good was the film that even now, I end up watching it atleast once a week. Although the plot was predictable, Kungfu Panda had some cool stuff throughout the movie which led to its huge success worldwide. Quite similar to Kungfu Panda’s plot, the protagonist in CC2C is also a chef, learns Kungfu to defeat the bad guy and later becomes the hero of the village. But unlike Kungfu Panda, there’s hardly anything in CC2C which would bring a smile onto your face. It actually leaves you dumbstruck with its astonishing dumbness and lack of respect for everything that represents China and it’s glorious culture.

Borrowing heavily from another Cantonese movie, “Kungfu Hustle” especially for most of the fights and costumes, CC2C finds itself in a unfamiliar territory. The main problem with the movie is that, it tries to be a Chinese recipe with Indian masala. And ends up being something which not even the chefs understand, leave alone the audience. Take for example, that ridiculous set in which the Siddhu finds himself amidst the villagers. 4 houses, a Chinese warrior, a Buddha Statue and few Chinese faces around don’t really give the impression that the film is set in China…I am quite sure, it was shot in our backyard! Or even the horrendous and cliched lines which everyone delivers in the movie…or the section of Great Wall of China. So frequently are those few blocks of Great Wall of China shown in the movie, that it leaves you thinking, if it’s the only thing present in the whole of China.

Akshay Kumar, as Siddhu, still seems to be reeling under the impact of “Hera Pheri”. Surprisingly, he isn’t funny in the movie and barring couple of scenes there’s nothing to write about his performance. I guess, after having seen him do so well in all his recent movies, he seems passable in this one! Deepika Padukone dons a dual role this time, and she’s as beautiful as ever…the bright costumes and her ubiquitous smile are probably the only things you will think of in the end! Mithun, Ranvir, Gordon Liu, Roger Yuan are loud and their dialogues and characters are so badly written that you cringe everytime they appear on screen and deliver their lines!

The biggest drawback of this movie is its script and direction. Amateurishly written and narrated, CC2C fails to inspire, all thanks to the seeming compulsion to make every scene funny even when it isn’t required. The background score is scarce and hits an uneven high note at bizzare points! And they say, they had more than 5 music directors in this movie….:P..Leaving all this aside, I still fail to understand how Warner Brothers associated themselves with this project. I am sure, not many would even want to give the film an after thought, leave alone recommending this to others.

The only good things about CC2C are it’s posters, Deepika (in some scenes) and the pre-release hype! Two thumbs down for Nikhil Advani’s “Chandni Chowk 2 China”. It had the potential to be so much more, but turns out to be a potpourri of Kungfu Panda, Kungfu Hustle, Seetha Aur Geetha, Dumbness, Stupidity, Boredom….I would rather recommend you buying a Blue Ray DVD of Kungfu Panda!

P.S: I have missed out on too many things, but in a way, I am saving you from more insanity!..:P

After Thoughts: Never try Bland Noodles with Indian Masala unless you know what you are trying to do!

Photo Courtesy: Wikipedia

By,

Hemanth